Because I'm a "here, now" kind of person.

So tomorrow (technically today) I'm visiting University of Maryland! And Friday I'm visiting NYU! Woohoo...right? No, not really, to be perfectly honest. Sure, if I'd done this about a month ago, I'd be completely stoked, but in all honestly, I'd rather be sitting at home staring at good ol' Gatsby. The dream of going to NYU was much more alive during the schoolyear, but now I just want to play The Sims and hang out with my friends. Nothing wrong with that, right?

Well, maybe there is. I have a tendency to be stoked about something way before it happens, and then when it is happening, I barely recognize the moment, and it's gone before I know it. Take last year's John Mayer concert for example. June 22nd, I believe...lemme go check the ticket...okay, fine July 21st. Anyhow, when we bought the tickets in May of '07, Tina, Esther, and I were incredibly excited for the occasion. I could barely contain myself at the time. It would be my first concert, I'd be seeing John Mayer, the most gorgeous kiddo on earth, AND I had seats that were very close to the front. But come July, I found myself completely apathetic to the matter. I don't think I had even listened to John Mayer all summer before I went to see him, and now that it's done and over with, I remember barely any of it.

Oh, there are a few random things here and there. I remember Ben Folds singing "Bitches Ain't Shit," the moon looking really colorful and awesome, me switching seats with Esther so she could stand on my chair to see, and Esther attacking my arm when Mayer sang a Radiohead song. But really, if I've loved John Mayer as much as I do since I was thirteen, wouldn't you expect me to have gained a lot more from the experience?

I suppose it's due to being a "here, now" kind of person. Back when I ordered tickets for John Mayer this year (also in May), I wanted to leave for Maryland right away. Same went with making reservations for NYU. Now that I barely care about getting accepted there, I'm worried that it won't impress me or that I won't like it. I wanted to go and be wowed, but I suppose that's not how it'll happen. When I was college searching, I was dying to get away from home, but now I'm quite content living here all the time. There's quite a fine line between summer and the schoolyear, and it really plays hell with my attitude toward certain things.

Look at the SATs. During the schoolyear, I did the best that I could do on those things, and it paid off with a pretty good score. But when I tried doing Subject Testing at the beginning of summer, I said, "Screw this" to my fellow test takers and walked out in the middle of it. I had the whole "Summer is here, and I want to enjoy it now" attitude going.

Bah, well, since I'm going to be driving tomorrow, I think I'd better go and get some sleep. Oh, and yes, I do realize that paragraphs generally group together related information, but that kind of went to hell in this post. Oh well.