Haha, weird, cynical mood. Pretty soon it'll be nine months until my birthday, which basically means that eighteen years ago, I came into existence. I'm glad that tradition made us have birthdays and not conception days because I don't think I'll even be ready to be legal in November. I like getting half hour breaks at work when I've got a five hour shift. I like not having to vote and whatnot. Seventeen is honestly not a bad age, however, it is probably one of the most forgotten. Everyone puts emphasis on what they believe are the best ages, but some of the most crucial moments have happened in the years that are predecessors to my "sweet" sixteen and upcoming eighteenth birthday.
It may not be such a terrible thing that I constantly reminisce my past years and wonder how I could've been so stupidly naive. That means I learned something that changed the course of my thoughts, no matter how trivial a change it was. One thing I hope to never do is stop learning about life, the world, and my perceptions on it. There's something contradictorily satisfying about never actually being satisfied with any one answer to "Why are we here?" I find myself often amused when people say "Everything happens for a reason" or "We're all just wandering around with nothing to live for or look forward to." How do you pick? This is one of the many decisions where each side has as many positives and negatives as the other.
I can't help but smile when I realize that, since I've just stated that I hope I never cease to learn, there probably will come a time where some days only existed as fillers, and the boring events that occurr will combine with my unenthusiastic attitude to practically cancel out the day. I don't want to become a zombie, but then again, two years ago, I didn't want to become a cynic. But now I'm glad to be one. When you look at it, though, my cynicism spawned from frustrated idealism. I'm guessing zombieness can result from frustrated cynicism.
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