I came home from work today (or yesterday, rather) completely exhausted from working the dreaded 7-2 shift. I hopped on facebook and just surfed through friends' pages, looking at them in more detail. I noticed that, listed on one of my friend's facespaces, was a group called "In Dedication and Remembrance to Mr. Way." Out of curiosity, I clicked the link to the group's page, and this whole array of memories seemed to flood my mind.
My mom has been working in the daycare for the local rec center since before I could walk or talk. She first met Mr. Way when he put his twin daughters in the nursery when they were toddlers. As she sometimes does with the parents who drop their kids off, my mom conversed quite a bit with Mr. Way. Unlike other parents, who would leave their kids and run off quickly to exercise, he would make the time to sit and play with his daughters before leaving. This gave my mom plenty of opportunity to get to know him and his wife.
Years and years later, when my brother entered high school, he had Mr. Way for General Science in his freshman year. During the school's open houses, to which I usually came along, my mom would go up and talk to him. Every year, for all four years of my brother's high school career, they talked of me possibly having Mr. Way as a teacher once I got to the high school level.
And I very well almost did. During course selection in eighth grade, I could have chosen to take Honors General Science, and therefore I would have had Mr. Way as a teacher. But I'd heard so many horror stories about his class being terribly difficult and how hard he graded science fair, etc. My own brother dropped out of honors science after taking his class, so I decided that I'd better take the regular level course instead.
Ninth grade came along, and I enjoyed my courses very much. Although I didn't have Mr. Way, I heard from many of my friends taking honors that he was an amazing, though admittedly tough, teacher. One friend told me at the beginning of the year that it was too bad I didn't take honors because Mr. Way often let his discussions meander from science so much that he would wind up talking about human nature or his life experiences. She said that his thought-provoking tangents were "my kind" of thing.
Mr. Way wanted everything done precisely (Way's way). I heard that he once took points off on a test because a kid showed work horizontally instead of vertically. All of his students needed to have their binders organized in a certain manner, and he graded them on this. A lot of kids received their first F's in his class. Still, he was respected and honored as one of the favorite teachers of most of the students who had him.
From day one of freshman year, my mom periodically insisted that I go see him and tell him that she had watched his daughters in the nursery and that he had my brother seven years ago. I answered that I would, when I got around to it, every single time. I had plenty of opportunities to let him know, too. I'd followed friends into his classroom both freshman and sophomore year when they had to ask him questions, and I often passed him in the halls. Junior year, I walked past him standing outside of his room several times a day to get to my locker. I just thought it'd be awkward to go up and tell him that he knew everyone in my family except for me.
By all means, I don't forget coming to school Monday November 12th of my junior year and hearing that Mr. Way had died unexpectedly from a brain tumor the previous day . The English, Math, and Cultures teachers were all saddened, but the Science Department was a wreck. I had Chemistry first period, and the first thing my teacher said to us was, "I had a lesson planned, but one of my best friends just died, so I don't give a crap." And we all sat and did nothing for forty-five minutes. The response from students was huge, too. At least five tables were set up in the Commons, and within a day all were filled with flowers and cards as a memorial to him. A sign was posted on one of the tables that read, "Men of genius are meteors destined to burn themselves out while lighting up their age."
Anyway, today I was on facebook reading all of the comments left on his page from people who knew him, and they were all so meaningful, much more than the typical, "Oh, this is so sad." He meant so much to a lot of kids. Just looking at the group page would tell you that. It made me truly regret that I never had the guts to a.) take his honors class when I definitely know I could have done it, and b.) tell him who I was and be able to meet him. I wish I could say something about how awesome a person I knew him as, but unfortunately, I just have to go by what other folks say.
It almost makes me wonder what else I have the ability to do and yet, for some lame excuse, am not doing.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Stream of consciousness writers were always bipolar. How artsy. (Rather pessimistic, I'm afraid)
Fitter, happier, more productive, comfortable, not drinking too much, regular exercise at the gym, 3 days a week, getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries, at ease, eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats, a patient better drive, a safer car, sleeping well, no bad dreams, no paranoia, careful to all animals, keep in contact with old friends, enjoy a drink now and then, will frequently check credit at, moral, bank, hole in the wall, favors for favors, fond but not in love, charity standing orders, on Sundays ring road supermarket, no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants, car wash, also on Sundays, no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows, nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate, nothing so childish, at a better pace, slower and more calculated, no chance of escape, now self-employed, concerned but powerless, an empowered and informed member of society, pragmatism not idealism, will not cry in public, less chance of illness, a good memory, still cries at a good film, still kisses with saliva, no longer empty and frantic, like a cat tied to a stick, the ability to laugh at weakness, calm, fitter, healthier and more productive, a pig in a cage on antibiotics.
Anyway, every Tuesday that I work, the same woman comes into my line a little before 5:00. She's older, overweight, and her hair is thinning. When she talks, her voice lacks any emotion whatsoever. She doesn't wear a wedding ring. Every week (for the past eleven months), she buys sixteen containers of yogurt, two tubs of ice cream, three bottle of coke, seven TV dinners, two loaves of bread, and a bag of apples. I wonder how she got to that point.
Anyway, every Tuesday that I work, the same woman comes into my line a little before 5:00. She's older, overweight, and her hair is thinning. When she talks, her voice lacks any emotion whatsoever. She doesn't wear a wedding ring. Every week (for the past eleven months), she buys sixteen containers of yogurt, two tubs of ice cream, three bottle of coke, seven TV dinners, two loaves of bread, and a bag of apples. I wonder how she got to that point.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Laziness! Procrastination! Throw a computer into the mix, and you've got one sedentary kid.
Well, I'm back at my humble abode where The Iliad and an AP Biology packet that probably killed a whole tree have been eagerly awaiting my return. Those three days at the beach appear to be exactly what I needed to get me away from the dull home life I had been living. I had expected to stay through today, but we came back on Thursday because Tina's parents realized that we could come home with one of the chaperons from the Youth Group that was staying across the street. That's allright, though, because we realized on Monday that we only had three days to do whatever we wanted, and consequently, we packed a lot into those three days. It was a very full vacation.
Not to mention I was able to see John Mayer for the second time. As Tina said, he is amazingness in a man. I could blab on about the concert, but I really don't want to. Okay, I will. We arrived in Columbia right as the gates opened, and we joked about rain because it looked like clouds were moving in up ahead. Merriweather Post Pavilion smelled like old, wet sneakers (a scent others might recognize as boardwalk fries), so I can't say walking around aimlessly was exactly the most pleasant experience I've ever had.
The torrential downpour came just as the opening act (Brett Dennen) took the stage. I feel bad for opening acts. I couldn't hear Brett and his band playing at all, and the crowd simply didn't care. We were too preoccupied with trying to stay dry the entire time. Our seats were under a tarp...a very battered and ripped tarp, but at least we weren't on the lawn. Those people were completely drenched. Tina and I had bought sweatshirts before the show began and jokingly talked about how we could just sit on them if our seats were wet. However, when this became a reality, we found that we had no other choice but to keep ourselves dry with our newly bought sweatshirts. They smelled like fried food, anyway. It rained throughout the entire concert, but I have come to the conclusion that it was indubitably worthwhile.
He's playing "Who Did You Think I Was?" solo. (I am not the one who keeps saying, "Yeah!")
Here he's playing Van Halen's "Panama" while his guitarist sings. The sound quality is very bad because the microphone was weak and the guitar distorted. In addition nearly everyone in the audience was screaming because Mayer's torso was not draped in cotton.
Not to mention I was able to see John Mayer for the second time. As Tina said, he is amazingness in a man. I could blab on about the concert, but I really don't want to. Okay, I will. We arrived in Columbia right as the gates opened, and we joked about rain because it looked like clouds were moving in up ahead. Merriweather Post Pavilion smelled like old, wet sneakers (a scent others might recognize as boardwalk fries), so I can't say walking around aimlessly was exactly the most pleasant experience I've ever had.
The torrential downpour came just as the opening act (Brett Dennen) took the stage. I feel bad for opening acts. I couldn't hear Brett and his band playing at all, and the crowd simply didn't care. We were too preoccupied with trying to stay dry the entire time. Our seats were under a tarp...a very battered and ripped tarp, but at least we weren't on the lawn. Those people were completely drenched. Tina and I had bought sweatshirts before the show began and jokingly talked about how we could just sit on them if our seats were wet. However, when this became a reality, we found that we had no other choice but to keep ourselves dry with our newly bought sweatshirts. They smelled like fried food, anyway. It rained throughout the entire concert, but I have come to the conclusion that it was indubitably worthwhile.
He's playing "Who Did You Think I Was?" solo. (I am not the one who keeps saying, "Yeah!")
Here he's playing Van Halen's "Panama" while his guitarist sings. The sound quality is very bad because the microphone was weak and the guitar distorted. In addition nearly everyone in the audience was screaming because Mayer's torso was not draped in cotton.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
People seldom differentiate.
A good friend buys you jewelry, lotion, and a shirt because it's your birthday.
A best friend buys you Harry Potter und der Feuerkelch because she was in Europe, and it was there.
I'm going to Ocean City with one of the coolest kids around.
A best friend buys you Harry Potter und der Feuerkelch because she was in Europe, and it was there.
I'm going to Ocean City with one of the coolest kids around.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm...I've got a lot to do in remains of the summer! I've spent countless hours wishing that I would do something with my life rather than sitting around idly and waiting for the grass to grow...well, okay, maybe not exactly, but something to that effect. My point is that I don't do as much as I can, and I'm a firm believer in not overloading myself and leaving plenty of time for chillaxation, but I keep finding myself unsatisfied with the things I've done (or haven't done).
Lately, I've been attempting to make my life more eventful. I've put in more hours at work, visited colleges, and all that good stuff. But now, with summer already half over, I can't believe how much I have to do in less than two months. I'm heading to Maryland tomorrow (technically today) for John Mayer and Ocean City, but I know that when I get back, I'm going to be completely overwhelmed with my to-do list. And what the hell? I've never had a to-do list before. I've never had a schedule. I've never had to thumb through dates on a calendar and pencil in appointments. What gives? Sure, during the schoolyear, I had homework, but that got done in its own course.
1.) Summer homework - Unfortunately, The Iliad won't read itself. Out of all the books they could've assigned, they picked one of the most drab stories I've ever tried to read. Yeah, yeah, it was like the first book ever written. I can appreciate literature, and I like to read, but when it takes me an hour to read ten pages, I don't want to deal with it.
Then there's that AP Bio packet -- that mother of a thing on the first five chapters. The thing about that is I don't even know if I've made it into the class yet. AP classes aren't designed to take a lot of kids, and way too many have signed up for Bio, so the school has to cut some from the class. We were supposed to know if we're taking it back in May, but the guidance office messed up everyone's schedules (IMAGINE THAT!!), so we still don't know what classes we're taking next year.
2.) Practice Driving - I'm going for my license August 6th, and I still don't know how to parallel park. I need to get it this time around because I'm taking Early Morning Gym next year, though I'm not sure which semester (again, because of guidance). If it's during the first semester, I'm going to have to get to school before 7, meaning if I can't drive, then I'm leaving the house to walk at 6:30. And I think I don't get any sleep now...
3.) Physical Therapy - My neck is officially fucked! So now, every Thursday, I have to see a physical therapist. Seems simple, ya know, only one day a week, blah blah. But now I can't work on Thursdays anymore, so I have to switch to Fridays. Also, I have to remember all the crap he tells me to do and not to do to my neck. I'm not supposed to crack it anymore, but it gets all restless and twitchy, and, well, I haven't been the best listener.
4.) George Washington - It's my second choice for college, so I think I ought to go and visit, but when??! I need to practice driving, and I need to work, and I need physical therapy. Plus there's my mom's schedule conflicts, too, as she's getting some surgery thinger done in the middle of August which I need to drive her home from, so I need to be home for that. Argh. Who knew getting to Washington, D.C. could be more difficult than going to New York City was?
5.) Visit my dad - I've seen him briefly for one day this whole summer. July doesn't look good because of Maryland and physical therapy. The beginning of August won't work because of my license and college visits. The middle of August won't work because of my mom's surgery. And the end won't work because of school. So what am I supposed to do? If I do find a day to see the kid, then I'll probably not be able to get off of work or something. He doesn't exactly live around the corner.
6.) Work - Yep, there's that, too. Work gets in the way of sooo much, but I need the money for college. I'm also pretty sure that work is what is making my summer go so fast. I keep looking ahead to next week and the week after. Planning ahead sucks.
7.) SATs and SAT II's - I know October 4th and November 4th are going to be here before I get a chance to review anything for either of these. My SATs I'm not as worried about because I've got an okay score (grrrr, but I want to do better!), but the SAT II's aren't looking so hot. I think, since I'm taking AP Bio and AP History, I ought to have enough ground covered to take the bio and history SAT II's in November, but who knows?
8.) College Applications - I have to write essays, get recommendations, get applications, fill out financial aid crap, and all that good stuff. When am I going to have time for this? Visiting UMD and NYU was great fun, but now I actually have to get to work to try to get into those schools.
9.) Hm, is there a nine? I don't know...there probably is. Yeah, I'm definitely forgetting something. On top of all of this, I don't sleep well at all. I never did, but now it's insane. The other night I slept 1-3, and then 7-8. Then I couldn't sleep anymore. Last night, I technically slept 1-6:30, but I woke up at least three times. Blah, I kind of almost want pills.
But all frustration set aside, life ain't so bad. Just busy. And who needs summer, anyway? I'll get plenty of long breaks once I'm in college. Good stuff.
Phew, well, hopefully I can forget about all that crap now that I just typed it out, and do some chillaxing, even if it means that I'll be about 20 times more stressed when I come back. I'll deal with that when it happens, though. I can't believe I used to wish for more things to do. Now that I have them, I want my old, lazy, let's-have-fun life back. But I'll whine some more once I return, I'm sure.
Lately, I've been attempting to make my life more eventful. I've put in more hours at work, visited colleges, and all that good stuff. But now, with summer already half over, I can't believe how much I have to do in less than two months. I'm heading to Maryland tomorrow (technically today) for John Mayer and Ocean City, but I know that when I get back, I'm going to be completely overwhelmed with my to-do list. And what the hell? I've never had a to-do list before. I've never had a schedule. I've never had to thumb through dates on a calendar and pencil in appointments. What gives? Sure, during the schoolyear, I had homework, but that got done in its own course.
1.) Summer homework - Unfortunately, The Iliad won't read itself. Out of all the books they could've assigned, they picked one of the most drab stories I've ever tried to read. Yeah, yeah, it was like the first book ever written. I can appreciate literature, and I like to read, but when it takes me an hour to read ten pages, I don't want to deal with it.
Then there's that AP Bio packet -- that mother of a thing on the first five chapters. The thing about that is I don't even know if I've made it into the class yet. AP classes aren't designed to take a lot of kids, and way too many have signed up for Bio, so the school has to cut some from the class. We were supposed to know if we're taking it back in May, but the guidance office messed up everyone's schedules (IMAGINE THAT!!), so we still don't know what classes we're taking next year.
2.) Practice Driving - I'm going for my license August 6th, and I still don't know how to parallel park. I need to get it this time around because I'm taking Early Morning Gym next year, though I'm not sure which semester (again, because of guidance). If it's during the first semester, I'm going to have to get to school before 7, meaning if I can't drive, then I'm leaving the house to walk at 6:30. And I think I don't get any sleep now...
3.) Physical Therapy - My neck is officially fucked! So now, every Thursday, I have to see a physical therapist. Seems simple, ya know, only one day a week, blah blah. But now I can't work on Thursdays anymore, so I have to switch to Fridays. Also, I have to remember all the crap he tells me to do and not to do to my neck. I'm not supposed to crack it anymore, but it gets all restless and twitchy, and, well, I haven't been the best listener.
4.) George Washington - It's my second choice for college, so I think I ought to go and visit, but when??! I need to practice driving, and I need to work, and I need physical therapy. Plus there's my mom's schedule conflicts, too, as she's getting some surgery thinger done in the middle of August which I need to drive her home from, so I need to be home for that. Argh. Who knew getting to Washington, D.C. could be more difficult than going to New York City was?
5.) Visit my dad - I've seen him briefly for one day this whole summer. July doesn't look good because of Maryland and physical therapy. The beginning of August won't work because of my license and college visits. The middle of August won't work because of my mom's surgery. And the end won't work because of school. So what am I supposed to do? If I do find a day to see the kid, then I'll probably not be able to get off of work or something. He doesn't exactly live around the corner.
6.) Work - Yep, there's that, too. Work gets in the way of sooo much, but I need the money for college. I'm also pretty sure that work is what is making my summer go so fast. I keep looking ahead to next week and the week after. Planning ahead sucks.
7.) SATs and SAT II's - I know October 4th and November 4th are going to be here before I get a chance to review anything for either of these. My SATs I'm not as worried about because I've got an okay score (grrrr, but I want to do better!), but the SAT II's aren't looking so hot. I think, since I'm taking AP Bio and AP History, I ought to have enough ground covered to take the bio and history SAT II's in November, but who knows?
8.) College Applications - I have to write essays, get recommendations, get applications, fill out financial aid crap, and all that good stuff. When am I going to have time for this? Visiting UMD and NYU was great fun, but now I actually have to get to work to try to get into those schools.
9.) Hm, is there a nine? I don't know...there probably is. Yeah, I'm definitely forgetting something. On top of all of this, I don't sleep well at all. I never did, but now it's insane. The other night I slept 1-3, and then 7-8. Then I couldn't sleep anymore. Last night, I technically slept 1-6:30, but I woke up at least three times. Blah, I kind of almost want pills.
But all frustration set aside, life ain't so bad. Just busy. And who needs summer, anyway? I'll get plenty of long breaks once I'm in college. Good stuff.
Phew, well, hopefully I can forget about all that crap now that I just typed it out, and do some chillaxing, even if it means that I'll be about 20 times more stressed when I come back. I'll deal with that when it happens, though. I can't believe I used to wish for more things to do. Now that I have them, I want my old, lazy, let's-have-fun life back. But I'll whine some more once I return, I'm sure.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Because I'm a "here, now" kind of person.
So tomorrow (technically today) I'm visiting University of Maryland! And Friday I'm visiting NYU! Woohoo...right? No, not really, to be perfectly honest. Sure, if I'd done this about a month ago, I'd be completely stoked, but in all honestly, I'd rather be sitting at home staring at good ol' Gatsby. The dream of going to NYU was much more alive during the schoolyear, but now I just want to play The Sims and hang out with my friends. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Well, maybe there is. I have a tendency to be stoked about something way before it happens, and then when it is happening, I barely recognize the moment, and it's gone before I know it. Take last year's John Mayer concert for example. June 22nd, I believe...lemme go check the ticket...okay, fine July 21st. Anyhow, when we bought the tickets in May of '07, Tina, Esther, and I were incredibly excited for the occasion. I could barely contain myself at the time. It would be my first concert, I'd be seeing John Mayer, the most gorgeous kiddo on earth, AND I had seats that were very close to the front. But come July, I found myself completely apathetic to the matter. I don't think I had even listened to John Mayer all summer before I went to see him, and now that it's done and over with, I remember barely any of it.
Oh, there are a few random things here and there. I remember Ben Folds singing "Bitches Ain't Shit," the moon looking really colorful and awesome, me switching seats with Esther so she could stand on my chair to see, and Esther attacking my arm when Mayer sang a Radiohead song. But really, if I've loved John Mayer as much as I do since I was thirteen, wouldn't you expect me to have gained a lot more from the experience?
I suppose it's due to being a "here, now" kind of person. Back when I ordered tickets for John Mayer this year (also in May), I wanted to leave for Maryland right away. Same went with making reservations for NYU. Now that I barely care about getting accepted there, I'm worried that it won't impress me or that I won't like it. I wanted to go and be wowed, but I suppose that's not how it'll happen. When I was college searching, I was dying to get away from home, but now I'm quite content living here all the time. There's quite a fine line between summer and the schoolyear, and it really plays hell with my attitude toward certain things.
Look at the SATs. During the schoolyear, I did the best that I could do on those things, and it paid off with a pretty good score. But when I tried doing Subject Testing at the beginning of summer, I said, "Screw this" to my fellow test takers and walked out in the middle of it. I had the whole "Summer is here, and I want to enjoy it now" attitude going.
Bah, well, since I'm going to be driving tomorrow, I think I'd better go and get some sleep. Oh, and yes, I do realize that paragraphs generally group together related information, but that kind of went to hell in this post. Oh well.
Well, maybe there is. I have a tendency to be stoked about something way before it happens, and then when it is happening, I barely recognize the moment, and it's gone before I know it. Take last year's John Mayer concert for example. June 22nd, I believe...lemme go check the ticket...okay, fine July 21st. Anyhow, when we bought the tickets in May of '07, Tina, Esther, and I were incredibly excited for the occasion. I could barely contain myself at the time. It would be my first concert, I'd be seeing John Mayer, the most gorgeous kiddo on earth, AND I had seats that were very close to the front. But come July, I found myself completely apathetic to the matter. I don't think I had even listened to John Mayer all summer before I went to see him, and now that it's done and over with, I remember barely any of it.
Oh, there are a few random things here and there. I remember Ben Folds singing "Bitches Ain't Shit," the moon looking really colorful and awesome, me switching seats with Esther so she could stand on my chair to see, and Esther attacking my arm when Mayer sang a Radiohead song. But really, if I've loved John Mayer as much as I do since I was thirteen, wouldn't you expect me to have gained a lot more from the experience?
I suppose it's due to being a "here, now" kind of person. Back when I ordered tickets for John Mayer this year (also in May), I wanted to leave for Maryland right away. Same went with making reservations for NYU. Now that I barely care about getting accepted there, I'm worried that it won't impress me or that I won't like it. I wanted to go and be wowed, but I suppose that's not how it'll happen. When I was college searching, I was dying to get away from home, but now I'm quite content living here all the time. There's quite a fine line between summer and the schoolyear, and it really plays hell with my attitude toward certain things.
Look at the SATs. During the schoolyear, I did the best that I could do on those things, and it paid off with a pretty good score. But when I tried doing Subject Testing at the beginning of summer, I said, "Screw this" to my fellow test takers and walked out in the middle of it. I had the whole "Summer is here, and I want to enjoy it now" attitude going.
Bah, well, since I'm going to be driving tomorrow, I think I'd better go and get some sleep. Oh, and yes, I do realize that paragraphs generally group together related information, but that kind of went to hell in this post. Oh well.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
It's not a remarkable feat.
Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
We people on the pavement looked at him.
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean-favored and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked,
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good Morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich, yes, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace.
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
We people on the pavement looked at him.
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean-favored and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked,
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good Morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich, yes, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace.
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
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